"Miss Almost"

I was told once that I'm an “Almost Perfect” kind of girl.

And I’m like even though I know I’m not perfect in many ways don’t tell me that I’m not perfect…

So…

Randomly my thoughts about Almost are out… (so scattered these days)

So here is the deal.

I jump-started, changed the battery, that fixed up Phien’s car 2-3 days ago for Nikki (long story) by myself… I was like wow… I really scared of myself at this moment. I never underestimated what I can/cannot do but the more I approached everything else in life, I started to feel scared of myself. I don’t know what I have become.

Things like that are supposed to be the guy jobs, but… Well, when you have to learn to lean on no-one but yourself you have to learn how to do it all. I became so independent. I can’t tell how many times I’ve ALMOST (here that word again) cried within the last 6 months when I found out that there was something wrong with my car and I have to take care of it, when I overworked and in need a tap on my shoulder to ensure that things will work out eventually, when I came home on the last bus at night every single day for straight 2 months when there is no-one on the bus but me and the drunk guy who was in front of me, I felt scared of course (because all the crime rate in my city has been increased over the last year) so I put on the coldest face that I could pretend, hideaway my fear. Literally, when things like that show up in my life, I really wish I could have somebody to just be there with me. Being alone for so long I've learnt to deal with all of that by myself but sometimes you just can’t help but wished.

I learnt to be tough, to not cry, and to not show how I felt (except when I upset)… sometimes I feel scared of myself that the more I do these, then I don’t even feel anything anymore...

What have I become?

I really need to learn to show my feelings again… because when everything almost is not a whole… 99.99% is not 100%... Tears almost fall are not tears... the almost is just the halfway... 

So randomly
Có ai đó đã nói với mình rằng: "Em mạnh mẽ và độc lập đến quái thai"....