For the last 2-3 weeks i worked more than 80 hours/week. Who would have thought put in extra 20 hours would be that hard... I discovered 2-3 molecules that haven't seen in my lab before (irrelevant with my thesis though), saved 3000$ for my advisor. On top of that, i tried to maintain my exercise schedule with running 4 days/week, yoga/Pilates/4days/week, and grading took all of my free time away.
Every hour i checked in w work is an hour i checked out in life! I'm tired of living this life! Keep whispering to myself that i only have to do these until technical review exam, but 6-7 months seem so far away at this given moment!!!
There r little voices inside my head keep telling me to give up, to extend the exam 'till next dec, and extend the graduation date, so i can have some more breaths in life! But the more little voice speaks out, The more i want to fight it so bad to keep moving forward with the plan, with my life! I cant keep a balance life anymore. Instead of choosing cut back on work, I choose to to cut back on exercises, on cross-stitch, on cooking, baking, and put more time on work, this is soo unhealthy, and so NOT ME.
I sleep less, get grumpy when i don't have enough sleep, but even when i get enough sleep it took me forever to fall to sleep 'cause i worry abt the unexpected!
I wished there could be easier way to live a life. It doesn't have to be this hard, and i don't have to push myself this hard. But this moment all I CAN DO is just wish. I still have to move forward with the plans, and fighting all the voices inside me.
Sometimes, life is just TOO much to take on...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
