Pain

After the last break up, i hide my pain away, thinking that i will never have to look at that again!
What did i know back then, all i wanted to do was a simple way to get over that certain somebody.
He left the biggest scar in my heart, and from that i was never be able to open up yet again...
Lately, i get to know my friend's story a little better and he reminds me of the scar in my heart, of the pain that i have tried so many times to forget, and most of all reminding me of that certain someone that I've tried to erase out of my life.
Was i wrong to fall in love? Was i wrong to give up and not fighting? Was i wrong to choose follow my gut feelings but not him?
I didn't think i was!
But here am i, sitting on the floor, listening  my friend's story about his long distance relationship, plus another girl right close by, listen to his mess, give him advice on how to handle his mess, tell him to be less selfish and think more of all the girls he is involved with, of how he is hurting all of them, I also tell him to his face that he is so afraid of being lonely, so he always wants somebody to be near by. (Somehow, That boy reminds me so much of that certain somebody)....At the same time in the back of my mind I was like, "boys like you r the reason i am incapable of love anyone anymore"!!!
After talking with him, i realize that even the wound healed, the scar faded, but the things that certain somebody said, the act that he has done, the way things ended are already engraved in me and these pain might never go away! All I wanted was some simple ways to get over these.
That boy reminds me so much of that certain somebody, and the pain i thought is already deeply hidden is once get to reveal yet another time.

Hệ quả của nhg năm tháng bị eating disorder, của việc running, của việc đứng lab liên tục 12 tiếng/ngày... Là việc chưa già mà đã đau đầu gối, và đau xương...
I really need to learn how to take care of myself... :-(

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Đất trời Phoenix ko lạnh vậy mà nhớ mãi một vòng tay ôm xiết...
Cô đơn lâu quá cũng thành quen...đôi khi chỉ sợ chai lì với mọi cung bậc xúc cảm...
Đất trời Phoenix ko lạnh, mà sao lòng thì như gió lùa căn nhà trống...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone